yesterday(13 aug 06 )
went da cut my hair with chords in the eveing.
then came home changed and went jogging with edi & my sis.
we walked more than we jog.
From typ all the way to bishan park,
then stop at J8 for dinner with CS and did many nonsense things...
but it was a great day out.
then walk back from bishan to tpy. haha.
we almost got lost on the way and trapped!
then finally manage to reach home.
DAMN TIRED, but fun ((:

Yet now, it is a drastic change of mood in me....
there's this feeling in me which I have surpressed it for sometimes,
maybe it is better to blair it all out.
At least I may feel much better after which...
I know that my blog maybe read by some of my classmates,
but this doesn't stop me from saying how i feel right?
Afterall, this is my blog.
If you dont wish to see what I wrote in here, then dont come (:
I really missed mildred man.
Class life is so different without her ard.
I sweared (:

In class, I had this weird feeling that I am so damn outcasted.
Dont ask me why, but i feel that way.
Somehow, I dont seems to belong to the clinque anymore.
I am like "hello, you are extras."
and also being left out without being notice.
Sometimes, it can be so obvious that they can go for toliet breaks tgt without asking me...
and they will be engagin in those hearty chats in front of you,
ignoring your existance....
I simply dont catch the reason behind all these.
I felt terrible, I wonder if anyone knows about how I feels about class this days.
that's one big main reason i enjoys pon-taning classes.

If they were to tell me face to face what's gone wrong with me,
that's drifting me apart from them, i will be alone.
at least not this awkward.
Today during break, as usual we went to eat at FOOD HAVEN.
and only shumin, jess and rw speaks to me.
the rest were practically eh ... er.... those sort when talking to me.
i was like alrights, nvm.
and when we are sitting down to eat,
Shumin suddenly voiced out saying that I think I am so out-casted.
as she felt that because of her, we have to move to one more table to sit.
So I told her. NO you aint at all. NO WORRIES.
in fact, deep down...
I FELT THAT I AM THE ONE BEING OUT-CASTED.
the feelings is no longer the past....

I HATE SCHOOl SERIOUSLY !
I NEED A BREAK.
I TRY SO HARD NOT TO PUT ON THAT MASK ANYMORE,
THE MORE I TRIED TO BE MYSELF... THE WORST SHIT I GOT INTO !
I HATE IT.
SO I CONTINUE TO PUT ON THE MASK THAT BROUGHT ME ALONG WITH EMOs..

for him,
i totally given up.
that day when you msg me. I realized that I haven totally given you up.
but now, I DO !

wells, but from now on..
I will say goodbyeeee to all my EMOs & my love.
with the start of a new chapter,
having a new hair style, means that I shld let go of the past...
esp those unhappiness moments of my life.

when I am so down in class and feel so helpless,
i really wish LINY, HUIKEE, APPLE, CHRIS OR MINHUI is there.
those whom I could hug on for a little comfort.
I am so tired.
I didnt want to blog these out,
as i didnt want them to worry for me..
but i feel terrible, VERY indeed.
when will these stop....

while after all the EMOs, let's me upload some of my new hairstyle pictures.
NOT SURE IF IT IS CLEAR ENOUGH.
but cause of this hairstyle,
I have to spend more than half an hour styling it every morning.
haha (:

here you goes....

my new haircut (:










and this is what i do while waiting for meeting to start after school...


I MISS BABIES gfs.

my dirty lil secrets___
8/14/2006 08:55:00 PM